Requiem for a Fallen Man

On the death of my father, John A. Millspaugh, 7 April 1915 to 4 July 2000

See Requiem Structure and Lyrics
Introitus
O God, unto him give eternal rest
And let perpetual light upon him shine.

We come before You; hear our prayers;
Release him; forgive him; touch our tears.

O God, unto him give eternal rest
And let perpetual light upon him shine.
O God, unto him give eternal rest
And let perpetual light upon him shine.
Requiem Æternum
O Lord, have mercy on this man, now gone.
O Christ, have mercy on this man, so flawed.
O Lord, have mercy on this man, still loved.
Kyrie Eleison
Dies Iræ
The days of wrath hath overcome our weeping:
His life expired in rattled foam and fear,
Invoking ashen memories, long held back.

What trembling suffer we
To weigh the past of hurts
And judge with honesty?
Dies Iræ
The trumpet summons him before the throne;
Its blast reverberates around our hearts
In secret thoughts among the quiet days:

What judgment renders God:
To bring him home at last
Or cast him out for good?
Tuba Mirum
The book of life reveals the awful truth
That, buried deep, denied, and feared, no longer
Remains in quiet, gangrenous plain days.

How do we love him still
When memories appear
Out of the darkest pit?
Liber Scriptus
Do I not stand before Divine Appeal
To render judgment, hurt, confused, and mad
At him for driving high and low my soul?
Quid Sum Miser
O God of Life and Death and All Beyond,
You liberate with mercy's love and care
All those who turn to You:
   as th' bell began its tolling was he saved?
   as Death appeared, his daughter's preacher there,
   did he believe?
   or was it hers?
Rex Tremendæ
O Jesus, we recall how You became
Enfleshed to show what we did not accept:
Your grace, Your liberating gift, is free
To each and every, every place and time;
Salvation unconditional, unearned,
Your certain death a role divine for us
That queries what will we do with the gift?

   O why, O why, did he misuse Your gift
   In rages violent, assaults and strikes
   On sister, even brother yet ne'er me?
   O God of Hope, how he so squandered it:
   Ideas grand, yet never consummated --
   His spirit drained, bereft of joy and hope.
But truly there is new and grander life.
Recordare
I cry out in confusion --
There was in him a sparkling:
He knew, O God, he knew too
He would not get beyond this
And pushed me steadily out,
One step, another step
Until I went and left
Confronting risk and change:
A stranger in a strange land.

Alone, he gave permission
For me to be th' outsider.
Ingemisco
Confounded was his life, consigned to ghosts:
What haunted him, O God? a mystery --
What quenched his fire? What crashed his spirit's flight?
What strangled his heart, his vision ashen gray,
His past a secret book of hurts untold?
O God, Thou take his rest into Thy care.
Confutatis
This day we weep for him and his
And souls in every place and time,
Truncated, stifled, crying out.
Let the time be not past, O God,
To arise from the ashes dry
That, O God, he and we be freed.
Lacrimosa
Offertorium
Lord Jesus Christ, deliver him at last
From aimlessness for he was unsure of You:
A seeker without maps or guides or goals,
A wanderer through asides and cul de sacs.
His soul, O Lord, deliver from confusion,
Lest hell engulf him, darkness enshroud him;
But lead him, God, to th' holy light of Truth.
Domine Jesus
O Cosmic Christ, our Resurrected Peace,
We praise You, bless You, for his life though flawed:
We offer You our prayers on his behalf,
Whom we remember now and will forever
And let him pass from death to life in our hearts.

O God, unto him give eternal rest
And let perpetual light upon him shine.
Hostias
Postludium
O Holy, Holy, Holy God,
Your love forever ours,
Your care forever here,
Let everyone
   -- the quick and dead
   receive Your glory:
Hosanna in the highest!
Sanctus
O blesséd is th' One who comes releasing us
From fear and sorrows, suffered now and past.
O blesséd is Hope Divine! Hosanna Now!
Benedictus
O Lamb of God who takes away our sins,
Please grant unto him rest eternally.
O Lamb of God who takes away our sins,
Please shine upon him light perpetually.
Agnus Dei
Let everlasting light upon him shine
That he repose in Your embrace with us,
For You are merciful eternally
Beyond this life as we await the next.

O God, unto him give eternal rest
And let perpetual light upon him shine,
For You are merciful eternally
In death and life, forgiving ever now.
Lux Æternæ
O liberate us, God, from fallenness;
Deliver us from endless death and fire:
You know that like him we are fallen ones.
Permit his life to be a lesson learned
For us of good and bad beliefs and acts:
O free us of abusive raging ways
And for the love of family concern.

O God, unto him give eternal rest
And let perpetual light upon him shine.
O God, unto him give eternal rest
And let perpetual light upon him shine.
Libera Me

©2000, John A. Mills